1. |
Leaves
09:30
|
|||
|
it feels like
i'm falling
it feels like
memories, distant and sore
i need things this world can't give me
i've tried everything to stay (here)
i feel misplaced and no one can tell me why
the shadows of that world in her eyes fading
this place erases what i know (of home)
the veil that covers my brain
makes it hard to see the damage
i cause to those close to me
it feels like my body hates me
my thoughts are trying to kill me
(i can't control this feeling)
[it's just a nightmare
it's just your mind, dear]
but you sitting here beside me
makes me feel such safety
and in my dreams
that place is all i need
a world of warmth and peace
hold me down and make me bleed
it's just a nightmare
it's just your mind, dear
even though you don't exist
i wonder how you'd feel
we met when we were just children
the shadows of that world in your eyes.
|
||||
2. |
No Comfort in Your World
05:48
|
|||
|
i was born something else
this place is noise and fear
i don't think
i don't think i could go back
my world
it would never take me now
you've changed
you've changed me too much
but i don't mind
i've got you here with me
i was born somewhere else, something else
a different body and i was whole
for a while
but deep
deep inside, there is a part
that still needs what i sought
before you found me
i don't think
i don't think i could go back
my world
it would never take me now
you've changed
you've changed me too much
but i don't mind
i've got you here with me
you try so hard to see
what it's like for me
you see a girl but i don't have the words
fine, under ancient skies
that feeling deep inside
i miss my home
and when i remember, the sadness takes me days at a time
my body listens only to my heart and not my mind
you sit with me for hours as we stare out at the sky
you see me in this body, but you're still gentle and kind
i don't think
i don't think i could go back
my world
it would never take me now
you've changed
you've changed me too much
but
my world
it would never take me now
you've been so kind to me
though i don't know what i need
the rules of your world confuse me
and when you found me
lost in autumn leaves
i saw something familiar in you
there is no comfort in your world
no feeling dreams unfurl
i cannot name the conflict in me
why don't i run away
forever leave this place
i wish i could but you have changed me
|
||||
3. |
Graceless
05:03
|
|||
|
little white moths in the shape of my thoughts
if i move too fast i will lose them all
i got holes in the shapes of the places i dream of
drilled in my spine so i always feel them
when did this happen, why this body
haven't thought about it since it happened to me
holes in my spine like the curves of your name
but i can't read the letters i just know the shape of my
thoughts their wings are a nervous tick
if i move too fast then they leave too quick
and i feel like something given too much
i try to process everything but my brain stops and
will i ever feel again
like i know where i begin
self transparent from the change
again
i've got something burned in the back of my mind
it's a name or a word or a couplet of rhyme
that tells me why i'm here and what i'm doing
but i can't read it it's always moving
the sky remembers what i've been
but if i stare it feels like a dream
another mind, another life and body
memories of dreams of flying, falling
and when they come into my mind
the old world burns in the glass of my eye
i get a surge of fields and trees and omens
a glimpse of home but i'm still broken
will i ever feel again
like i know where i begin
self transparent from the pain
again
i can't stand you seeing me like this
this body feels like someone else's skin
turn away and curl up in my mind
dreaming of the days when i could fly
graceless in this changing skin
the sky remembers what i've been
a different life so far away
that this body makes more distant every day
my thoughts stay longer every day
the old discomfort falls away
it hurts so much but you're still with me
i was so sure the knife would kill me
vitriolic words echo in my mind
the disgust on their face burned into my eyes
but you were there, i don't know why you do this
if only you could feel it
|
||||
4. |
Other
05:18
|
|||
|
and in this place
there is no sense of wonder
it hides away
up in the autumn sky
you were here from the start, you saw me when i was
you thought you knew what i was and i know, i know
i didn't see this coming, the way you make me feel
now it's too much to let go, let go, let go
you taught me how to make it through
(and i fucking love you)
i see the fear in your eyes when you see mine changing
don't be afraid, it's just the same old me you know
i feel myself spreading through this body
graceful in this skin but something else deep inside
if you knew would you stay here with me?
i'm speaking from a place that you have never seen
everything i have done has been myself but you don't
you don't know the rest of me
the knife was right in a certain way
i love you very much but please be careful with me
you helped me grow
into this body i don't know
we lay on the forest floor for hours
we ran through the trees behind the school
pretending we were still (...)
you taught me how to survive in this place and make it through
you were the wonder in a world that offered nothing new
you took my callouses but gave me skin so i could feel you
i love everything about you but i am not like
you taught me how to survive in this place and make it through
you were the wonder in a world that offered nothing new
you took my callouses but gave me skin so i could feel you
i love everything about you but i am not like you
|
||||
5. |
Need
05:05
|
|||
|
i feel so wrong
held here, but not held here
i need to feel you badly
(i need an exit)
i need an exit badly
touch me just to set me free from this
touch me even though you don't reciprocate
this feeling that
i need you
i don't know
what's going to happen now
i need your touch
i feel so wrong
touch me just to set me free from this
(i need this, i need your touch)
touch me even though you don't reciprocate
touch me just to set me free from this
(i need this, i need your touch)
touch me even though you don't reciprocate
this feeling that
i need you
|
||||
6. |
A Life of Warmth
03:51
|
|||
|
(instrumental)
|
||||
7. |
AM
02:20
|
|||
8. |
Skin
02:45
|
|||
|
the sight of her scatters my thoughts and
she crawls back into the warmth
her touch is attached to something new
held down by her form
has it been so long?
we met when we were just children
the shadows of that world in your eyes
i stayed with you every day as we watched
the fields and the autumn sky
my heart feels like it's failing
as her lips find my throat in the dark
she reaches down and my body shakes
it feels like (...)
and then
she breaks the skin
███████ ███ █ ██ █
feelings i can't name
the memory of our lives together
burns through my paralyzed haze
the wordless pleasure of this moment
your teeth as they open the vein
do you remember the innocence we
shared on those autumn days?
we sat together and talked for hours
about the day that we'd escape
|
||||
9. |
Autumn
01:34
|
|||
10. |
Deep Nausea
13:00
|
|||
|
this feels like it's too big for words
but it's a part of me
i feel like i need to shut down
i wish i could kill my body
looking in
i feel so hollow and alone
if i could, i'd put myself
into a story and find home
is there no one else alive
who knows this feeling?
this loneliness
is going to kill me
looking in on this
i feel so hollow and alone
if i could, i'd put myself
into a story and find home
somewhere under the sky
of a land that no one knows
it's here, in my mind
but description leaves me cold
there are no words
and the aching doesn't go
it feels like nausea
in my stomach, in my soul
there is no life here
hold my body still and whisper to me
that it's okay that you see what i'm meant to be
gently touch my skin and tell me you know
tell me that you can see that place in our souls
lower your head, speak softly into my hair
say you understand and that someday we'll go there
kiss my neck, trace your fingers across my skin
tell me that you know what i mean
there is no life here so please don't (...)
if i could go back...
i think about those wasted years
the fear and the envy
i can feel my body buckling more every day
i don't wanna go but i need an exit from here now
i feel the expectations of a person who is assumed
to have gone through what you have
but i haven't
|
||||
Ada Rook Toronto, Ontario
im rook from black dresses
If you like Ada Rook, you may also like:
WASTEISOLATION
by Black Dresses
supported by 155 fans who also own “Deep Nausea”
AOTY 2023 (3 way tie) the perfect companion as i tread similar ground...
go to album
LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR STUPID LITTLE BITCHES
by Black Dresses
supported by 137 fans who also own “Deep Nausea”
Cartoon Network will always be my favorite for the pure trauma venting, but Music... Music makes me cry every time I listen. I want to say both are my favorite, but Bandcamp sucks ass lol
go to album
supported by 135 fans who also own “Deep Nausea”
this was the final album i needed to complete my collection of every black dresses album (and ep), and this one. this one is my new favorite. it's everything i love about black dresses, especially on WHEEL OF FORTUNE. crazy to think this is 5 years old, let alone released in the same month as my birthday. one million happy fans and friends forever <3
go to album
Crushed Into Dust By The Weight Of The World
by Daughter Of Dawn
Emma Grey (Malachi, Contentious, Hive) sets aside her bands' righteous aggression for this luminous, mournful, spacious solo outing.
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jul 28, 2020
go to album
Forever In Your Heart
by Black Dresses
Toronto duo follow up 2020's breakout "Peaceful as Hell" with a chaotic noise pop LP that ratchets up the aggression, as well as the hooks.
go to album
