1. |
weapon.
01:10
|
|||
i was made into a weapon
in your vision
impairing defenses
look what i did to you
how could i?
how could i?
how could you?
|
||||
2. |
lung.
00:57
|
|||
am i breathing the same air
the feeling identical
so far away
poisoning
corrupting everything
that i have built here
safety
fear
can i ever get away from the memories?
can i get out
please
am i stuck in
this terrible mundanity
gentle horror
nightmare
everything falls away
horrible mundanity encroaching
i can taste the air from the past on my tongue
those years: the dust in my lungs
|
||||
3. |
home.
01:20
|
|||
it devours all, it is everything
i can hear the cycle, it is deafening
small towns enveloping
can you see it too?
burnt through
i can't look away
i can't look away
it finds you.
it is everything
i can hear the cycle, it is deafening
i can't look away
can you see it too?
burnt through
obsession
contorsion
compulsion
obsession
obsession
obsession
you can't escape the cycle
|
||||
4. |
decay.
01:05
|
|||
was there another life?
was there another way?
buried deep inside
decay
nausea
i can't remember what i am
i can't stand
euphoria
my soul is melted sand
was there another life?
was there another way?
buried deep inside
decay
shelter
compassion
unform me
scatter my heart like radiation
holy ground
concatenation
is there anything at all
glistening silence
|
||||
5. |
shape.
02:02
|
|||
disconnect
no evidence
disconnect
repent
disconnect
the dream recedes
it's not real
i swear it never happened to me
but i can see the shape
it left inside my brain
i can't explain it
i don't know who to blame
the reticence remains
the hesitation heals
i can't feel
i can't feel
disconnect
no evidence
disconnect
repent
burnt glass and permanence of fear
weak electricity no tears
the asphalt ripples and reveals
short-circuit neurons i can't feel
but i can see the shape
it left inside my brain
i can't explain it
i don't know who to blame
the reticence remains
the hesitation heals
i can't feel
i can't feel
|
||||
6. |
light.
02:07
|
|||
street lamp on the corner
burnt into the sense of place
layout of apartment building
flowing through the veins of years
every particle means something
why can't it just mean nothing
is there a way to simplify?
why am i always running?
every part of this town is far too real
please let me go, please let me heal
what is possible?
oh god, what is possible?
held together by tungsten lights
shadows collect in the shape of a life
summer nights, swollen eyes
i wish i could dream
i wish i could cry
i wish i could cry
every particle means something
why can't it just mean nothing
is there a way to simplify?
why am i always running?
every street is far too real
please let me go, please let me heal
what is possible?
oh god, what is possible?
what is possible?
what is possible?
i see too much
|
||||
7. |
small towns.
02:28
|
|||
i can't tell my dreams
apart from my nightmares
home or hell
was there a time when i was aware?
don't move;
stay motionless and just
stare down the memory
don't come any closer
stay right there
don't move
is there a way
is there a way to let go?
without forgiving somehow?
without forgetting the shape of the hole?
inside this place
escape is all we know
run away condemn the memory
of what we call our homes
all the ways we were failed
made invisible now
as the sun descends
over the streets of small towns
is there something
inside me that needs this?
i don't know
do i secretly deserve it?
is there a part of me
that knows what happened?
why am i so sure i'm just dramatic?
i can't feel
human souls, she thinks, are absences.
a hole torn into the being of every person,
each a different shape.
sometimes the edges line up
with someone else's wound,
and briefly, there is the illusion
of the absence being filled in again.
occasionally the jagged corners
lock together so tightly that this illusion
can sustain itself for a very long time -
but ultimately, she knows,
the emptiness remains.
she walks her familiar street
in the haze of early morning,
keeping something secret inside her chest:
a tiny jewel, the size of an insect,
a quiet understanding
that everything from here on out
is unknown.
|
||||
8. |
away.
02:07
|
|||
today
escape.
she packs her bags
so long waiting for this day
object permanence
synthetic spirit
hers is finally sent away
we are made
of broken parts
thrown away
brand new shape
away
brand new shape
away.
|
Ada Rook Toronto, Ontario
im rook from black dresses
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