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1. |
im cis (prod. ESPer99)
00:53
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FUCK IT
I'M NOT SICK
I'M NOT GAY
I'M NOT TRANS
I'M NOT TRAUMATIZED
So many things that I wish I'd never externalized
You're treasured for baring your soul until it's weaponized
I wanna have a good time
Keep a few secrets from the 20,000 eyes
I'm fucking done with the 2,020 Knives
I'm over bleeding out. I just wanna feel nice
I say none of my songs are about being trans
I wish that none of my songs were about a """fucked up past"""
Everyone has fucked up pasts, it's not a free pass
I wanna party while I still can
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2. |
999999999 IN A DREAM
04:11
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(A fitting end shall soon come to this world which has been devoured by human beings. We shall have no regrets when we depart this world!)
Love and fear are the same fucking thing
Don't overthink it - Fuck everything
Everyone has got an image of you
And they'll do anything to believe that it's true
Love and fear are the same fucking thing
Don't overthink it - Fuck everything
Everyone has got an image of you
And they'll do anything to make it true
Desperate desperate paradigm
Souls failing to survive
We never were alive
We never were alive
Old nightmares are revived
Failing machines of light
Smoke curls, sparks alight
Pinions spin out of time
I think it's a mistake that this world can contain us
I used to believe in dreams
I gave up all my life to try to make a portal
But it's been driven out of me
This whole world is a weapon
Invincible redundancy
Everyone can see the future
Love trash fear wave crashing over every precious thing
(You scummy little bitch!!!)
NEVER TRUST WHAT WE'VE BECOME
INNER CHILD CHOKING ON BLOOD
DEAD EMOTION OVERDRIVE
NEVER TRUST OR COMPROMISE.
NEVER TRUST WHAT WE'VE BECOME
INNER CHILD CHOKING ON BLOOD
DEAD EMOTION OVERDRIVE
NEVER TRUST
STAY ALIVE.
Feeble hopefulness
Feeble hopefulness
Feeble hopefulness
Please do not let it go out
Hopelessness
Feeble hopefulness
Feeble hopefulness
Every future bleeding out
*** I don't know how to let go and just be taken care of
The script is missing from inside
I'm told that it's a sin that you cannot atone for
Healing: An unforgivable crime ***
I've come so far since I could not express this
A plant growing toward the light
But it's only empty radiation
I can't look away - I'm losing my sight
(You don't get it, do you, you bitch?? It's fine as long as I don't touch your face!!)
(This is how a very small world of women was left behind. The world was dying slowly, and since no more children could be born, we have no choice but to accept death.)
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3. |
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In another life you see the traces
Fantasy in all the strangers' faces
Pleading hopeless thoughts so invasive
The pedestal of unfamiliar places
Wake up and you're still haunted
How could anyone want this?
Escape, ok, get on it
Something's wrong
This is not it
Wake up and you're still haunted
How could anyone want this?
Escape, ok, get on it
Something's wrong
This is not it
In another life you see the traces
Fantasy in all the strangers' faces
Pleading hopeless thoughts so invasive
The pedestal of unfamiliar places
Every day I think that I can take it
Fine line inside to make or break it
Another decade or day, still the same shit
Got a theory, too scared to say it
You can cope but no one understands it
*** Everything that works is seen as damage ***
Wake up every day, you push past it
Wake up every day, you push past it
Wake up every day, you push past it
Wake up every day, you push past it
Wake up every day, you push past it
Wake up and you're still haunted
How could anyone want this?
Escape? Unlikely, if I'm honest
Something's wrong
This is not it
Something's wrong
Something's wrong
Come on motherfucker
(You little bitch!!)
This is all a plan, it is a constant
Everything good that happens has an opposite
Fuck this, why does everything oscillate??
There has to be a better way
There has to be a better way
There has to be a better way
Third law, where the fuck do you get off
Running this place this way? Insane
But really I know, everything's clear
Being with you, here
And what are the odds I'd ever feel
Something so rare, so real
So energy spikes, energy falls
Maybe it's the only way that this can be at all
Purgatory or just a life
I will hold you until God decides.
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4. |
TRU U
02:21
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(You women have sex with each other.
I won't do it anymore!!
You do drugs, too.
I've never touched those!!!
And you think about nothing but death.
Well... Not really!)
Weaponize and drown in rage, you're not even alive
Animated by the shame, fixated, mesmerized
Who am I to you?
Do you know the tru u?
Panic at the end of days, I see it in your eyes
But you cannot look away, hollow and petrified
Look for a way through
That justifies it to you
A wave of nausea, one time a step too far
There is no body. A psychological alarm sounds
This is when you remember, blindingly:
The warning.
A LITTLE DIRT ON YOUR CLOTHES
TRANSPARENT BLOOD OF A GHOST
NOBODY ELSE WILL NOTICE
WITHOUT THE MONITOR LIGHT
HOLD TIGHT TO THE DAY THAT YOU DECIDED
ONE DAY IT'LL ALL BE WORTH IT
ALL THE TIME THAT YOU HAD TO HIDE IT
THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER:
INSIDE YOU'RE LIKE ME!!
YOU SHINE SO BRIGHTLY
IN THE FREQUENCY THAT ONLY FREAKS LIKE ME CAN SEE
I CAN SEE YOU LIKE A DEER IN HI-BEAMS
I bet you would give anything
I bet that you'd do anything
Just to be at peace
Just to be at peace
Just to be at peace like me
Okay okay but really:
I'm waiting here
I'm waiting here for you,
Yea give it up and hit me up
Okay okay but really:
I'm waiting here
I'm waiting here for you
So give it up and hit me
Weaponize and drown in rage, you're not even alive
Animated by the shame, fixated, mesmerized
Who am I to you?
Do you know the tru u?
Panic at the end of days, I see it in your eyes
But you cannot look away, hollow and petrified
Look for a way through
That justifies DEATH to you.
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5. |
GRAVITY WEAPON
03:37
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(Hold on to ur fukcing balls, this is gonna kill u)
Hold out for better days
You never know you never know
Another runaway
So far so far away from home
The fantasy becomes
something you hold so close
But when the day breaks...
Hold out for better days
You never know you never know
Another runaway
So far so far away from home
The fantasy becomes
something you hold so close
But when the day breaks
You never know you never know
(You don't seriously plan on obeying that crazy bitch, do you?!)
It's how it goes
Writing out nightmares all alone
Voice too trashed to hit the notes
Waiting for
Waiting for hope
In your home (In your home)
The gravity of rotting souls
It holds, it holds
You know:
It never really goes
And so,
You never know you never know
For so long, I thought I could only hide
Dumb kid keeping everything inside
But in the end I'm a degenerate piece of shit
Motherfucker and proud of it
I cannot take another day pretending this is it
You know the score
Come at me, bitch
Hold out for better days
You never know you never know
Another runaway
So far so far away from home
The fantasy becomes
something you hold so close
But when the day breaks...
Hold out for better days
You never know you never know
Another runaway
So far so far away from home
The fantasy becomes
something you hold so close
But when the day breaks
You never know you never know
Let's go motherfucker
I know, motherfucker.
Oh no
Oh no
No soul.
(You like that shit, Hartford?
D'YOU LIKE THAT SHIT, HARTFORD??)
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6. |
COWARD 2 COWARD
03:43
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(Do not fear the moment when the shadow of death envelopes us, and everything is thrown into oblivion. Instead rejoice it, and embrace it! A beautiful ending is upon us... Yes, a beautiful ending for women!)
I can picture your obsession
So familiar that it feels like possession
What's real? What's fake? What's right?
Doesn't matter once the first strike hits.
All the fear, all the bullshit
Doesn't last in the stillness
Once you've done it, it's done
Fucking think before you kill someone.
I will become whatever you think of me
(Whatever you believe)
I will be nothingness or disgusting dreams
(All your dreams)
Idol or target, anything in between
(Between, between)
Falling forever, witnessed by nobody
(Nobody)
I'm not better than you.
I am a coward too.
But someday you'll wish you knew
YOU'LL WISH YOU KNEW.
(I'm human too.)
THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU PROVE YOU ARE AN ANGEL
THIS IS THE MOMENT YOU KILL TO GET YOUR HALO
THIS IS RIGHTEOUSNESS
IF YOU SAY SO
(Besides, if they eat us they'll die.
Die?
Besides, if they eat us they'll die.
Die?
Besides, if they eat us they'll die.
Die?
Besides, if they eat us they'll die.
Die?)
You and I both want to be good desperately
(Die?)
I know that you're scared of being nobody
(Die?)
I can read the hesitation in your face
(Die?)
But you won't hesitate at all to CLEAR YOUR NAME.
Guilt means nothing in reality
Can we be forgiven?
What does forgiveness mean?
How many have you killed?
Do you even know?
WE WILL EAT YOUR DREAMS.
If you look up to me, I'll find you
And I will fucking end your life.
I will become whatever you think of me
(Whatever you believe)
I will be nothingness or disgusting dreams
(All your dreams)
Idol or target, anything in between
(Between, between)
Falling forever, witnessed by nobody
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7. |
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Ash:
Looking up at a blood red sky
I don't recognize this look in your eyes
How could it be? How could it be?
How could a world so beautiful let this happen?
Swallowed up in a distant roar
Thunder hit my head and then I hit the floor
It couldn't be, it couldn't be
Reality dissolves to an evil pattern
Rook:
Emptiness - has this always been?
Underneath - under everything?
Far below - The color of the void
Terrible vertigo - Perspective is destroyed
(Pathetic woman. If you want to be destroyed so badly, so be it.
I should be the only one to bear that curse.
How could something so convenient be a curse...?)
All the bliss, all ecstasy in life
Just a fleeting kiss of transient sunlight
All we ever knew and all that comforted us
A misfire undetectable in a speck of dust
Nothing
Nothing
Underneath it all
Ash:
Looking up at a blood red sky
I don't recognize this look in your eyes
How could it be? How could it be?
How could a world so beautiful let this happen?
Swallowed up in a distant roar
Thunder hit my head and then I hit the floor
It couldn't be, it couldn't be
Reality dissolves to an evil pattern
Underneath it all
How could it be? How could it be?
How could a world so beautiful let this happen?
Underneath it all
It couldn't be, it couldn't be
Reality dissolves to an evil pattern
Rook:
"I love you"
I try to hold onto the meaning of the words
As we fall deeper into nothingness
I try to hold my breath
I try to reach your hand
But we cannot connect
It is a horrible truth that cannot be unseen
The nihilistic sea
The non-existence beneath your skin
And inside every single comfort
Your face as I try to repair the meaning of "I love her"
Ash:
Looking up at a blood red sky
I don't recognize this look in your eyes
How could it be? How could it be?
How could a world so beautiful let this happen?
Swallowed up in a distant roar
Thunder hit my head and then I hit the floor
It couldn't be, it couldn't be
Reality dissolves to an evil pattern
Underneath it all
How could it be? How could it be?
How could a world so beautiful let this happen?
Underneath it all
Rook:
No comfort in this world
(Your call cannot be completed as dialed. The person you are trying to reach is either unavailable or has traveled outside the service area. Your call cannot be completed as dialed. The person you are trying to reach is either unavailable or has traveled outside the service area.)
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8. |
VANISH/DOOM
04:16
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(Listen up, ladies! The cursed men who used guns brought destruction upon themselves. And women also fought using guns, and only a handful escaped the curse. That's why we don't hurt other women.
Women are all about charm.
Exactly! Whoever lacks charm continues to kill. We have to stop that no matter what.)
The obfuscation is deliberate
Who wants to speak up
When angelic is a language that cannot be criticized?
Virtue abstracted to cipher
Encoded in the blood they spill to stay alive
The sky is opening
You fucking coward.
When it all becomes just another memory
Will you see all the death around?
Trying to redeem yourself in violence
Vanish, perish
Evermore
The language of the angels
Corrupts so absolutely
The thirst for purity will kill your soul
Somewhere another girl dies alone
Slaughtered by committee of angels
Shining omen
Another life thrown away, they've spoken
Anyone who dares to refute their goodness
Vanished and erased from time
FUCK
THE HELPELESS CANNOT EVER BE EXPRESSED
DESIGNED TO CUT THE TONGUES
OF ANYONE WHO DARES DEFEND
GOODNESS RAPED AND DYING
PREDATORS ALL WEAR HER SKIN
ANOTHER MARKED FOR DEATH
FOR CRIMES SYNTHETIC, INSIGNIFICANT
The sky is open
You fucking coward
Screaming, descending
YOU FUCKING COWARD.
Holding on, breaking down
Human heart dying under pressure of silence
Silence
Silence
Silence.
Someday you will know it
Helplessness and trembling hands
Once it happens to you
It tears the wings off of your back.
Somewhere another girl dies alone
Ripped apart and eaten by
ANGELS
SCREAMING
CIRCLING FOREVER
When it all becomes just another memory
Will you see all the death around?
Trying to redeem yourself in violence
Vanish, perish
Evermore
The language of the angels
Corrupts so absolutely
The thirst for purity will kill your soul
Somewhere another girl dies alone
Murdered by committee of angels
Shining omen
Another life thrown away, they've spoken
Anyone who dares to refute their goodness
Vanished and erased from time
I HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO LEARN
THE WAY I DID
BUT MAYBE IT'S THE ONLY WAY
I HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO LEARN
THE WAY I DID
BUT MAYBE IT'S THE ONLY WAY.
(As long as there is evil in people's hearts... My gun and bullets shall be there to shed light wherever you desire.)
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9. |
XANAFALGUE
04:03
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You're on your OWN.
If this all goes south
Just remember:
I was never here.
This is a shape, a prayer, to break what's set in time
It's late, but never too late to bend the lines
The things I've written, pressing me down in dirt
The weight of pity isn't enough to crush the hurt
There is something beyond the grey of injury:
The pride of owning it all, having control of me
I could be a constellation of repression breaking
Full potential finally awaking but...
PLEASE
LEAVE ME BE
PLEASE
LEAVE ME BE
With my failing vision
I can see the distance
Between the fantasy and my decisions
FALLING RIGHT BACK INTO IT
REPETETIVE AND USELESS
WILL THIS DEFINE MY PERSON?
AVOIDABLE SELF-HATRED WORSENS
WEAK CHILD.
DELUSIONAL
WEAK CHILD
BORING SHIT:
"YOU DON'T KNOW ME"
WE KNOW.
The sunlight through the trees
The gentle summer breeze
I hate this world
And everything it means to me.
THE SUNLIGHT THROUGH THE TREES
THE GENTLE SUMMER BREEZE
I HATE THIS WORLD
AND EVERYTHING IT MEANS TO ME
(May I please kill this little bitch??)
STUPID CHILD
SO STUCK INSIDE YOUR HEAD
YOU WON'T ADMIT IT
KEEP TRYING TO PRETEND
PATHETIC FADING BROKEN REMNANTS
CAN YOU CONVINCE YOURSELF
THEY'LL EVER FIT TOGETHER AGAIN?
(It's time that I... return you to your Other World. Die!!)
I'VE TRIED
I'VE TRIED
I've tried...
Late at night in the CRT glow
Escape everything I know
Someday I'll be someone else
And I'll know myself
Somewhere out there
There's someone just like me... <3
The sound of birds
So familiar and bleak
The sun rises
NO
(What? WHAT??)
THIS DEATH IS SLOW
(I KNOW.)
Slow.
(BITCH I KNOW)
You can be anything
Just remember:
IF THIS ALL GOES SOUTH
IT'S YOUR FUCKING FAULT
IF THIS ALL GOES SOUTH
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
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10. |
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And in a secret world
We'll know why this had to be
Untouchable and free
Caring for each other in despicable peace
I see us forgetting and dreaming
And letting go of worry
Resetting, receding
From everything we know and
Becoming the demons
We only fantasized of being in our nightmares
Somewhere forgotten, believing
and leaving all the angels to die in their seething
We'll shed our agony and anxiety, obsessions
And the remnants of the light of goodness
Choking out our hearts.
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11. |
5H4D0W H34R7Z
03:56
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I wanna live inside the feeling
I don't wanna be a human being
I wanna be there when it falls apart
I wanna get fucked by my stupid heart
I wanna know what it feels like
To lose myself and cry all fucking night
I wanna hurt, get hurt, and shrug it off
I wanna be the dumb bitch who gets u off
I wanna look like nobody to you
I wanna be forgotten when the night is through
(There are indeed many women in this world without men who engage in such... bonds. I've heard that even among Guardians there are those who intermingle with you, Kisaragi. But I am different.
How come?
Because I am no doubt insane.)
I wanna forget all about who I was
I wanna be best friends and stupid sluts
I'm gonna end it all and then I'm gonna make it up
I'm gonna be somebody I can love
I wanna be so stupid and alive
I wanna show u all the evil that's inside <3
PUT ME IN PUT ME IN
I WANNA FUCK UP EVERYTHING TONIGHT
TAKE MY HAND I WANNA BE
MORE THAN THE SUM OF OUR PASTS TONIGHT
AND WHEN THEY CATCH US
THEY WILL ONLY CATCH THE LIVES
THAT WE LEFT BEHIND
*** I WANNA LOOK AT YOU
AND SAY THE THINGS
THAT I'M TOO EMBARRASSED TO WRITE ***
I WANNA TELL YOU THE WORST THINGS ABOUT ME-
Not out of anxiety, but out of pride.
And you'd laugh, and you'd say "I'm so glad you're mine <3"
So let's go,
U and me.
C'mon...
There's still time
Before the sunrise.
(She'll be okay. The birds made this beautiful field of flowers just for her! Look at how warm it's gotten since daybreak...)
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Ada Rook Toronto, Ontario
im rook from black dresses
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